How to make the perfect Kool-Aid...

Because I know that you, have been wondering for days how to perfect that artificially colored and flavored, diabetic-shock-inducing, cheaper than water beverage, I now give you the secret to delicious Kool-Aid.

1. packet of kool-aid (no cheap knock-offs you will thank me later)
2. A pitcher. 2 quarts. Go get something with a lid. The fancy ones without lids will leave fridge-flavored-kool-aid... Gross!
3. Sugar More than 1 cup
4. Long-handled spoon

Instructions: First pour one (1) packet of Kool-Aid into the pitcher; Then Cover that with at least one (1) cup of normal granulated sugar*. Then pour cold water into pitcher until it is about HALF- filled. This enables you to stir vigorously (you may do so at this point) and disolve all of the sugar and kool-aid bits. Once your Powdered Things are disolved, you may fill the rest of the pitcher with cold water. Chill in Fridge and enjoy. Note: For those who desire instant gratifacation (who doesn't) Fill a glass with ice and serve; Do NOT put anything else directly into the pitcher or it will grossify your Kool-Aid.

*(I usually make it a 'heaping' cup, because I like sweeter kool-aid; even if you're not like me in the liking sweet things department dont under any circumstances skimp on the cup of sugar you yuppies who like your artificial sweeteners and are all paranoid about your sugar intake SHOULD NOT BE DRINKING KOOL-AID!!! Kool-aid is for poor college kids who can eat anything and anyone who likes kool-aid and doesn't care how much sugar it has.)

Well, there you go. The recipie for perfect Kool-Aid. Don't believe me? TRY IT!

Then let me know if it was as fabulous as you hoped...but well if it wasn't you simply have much to high expectations of your sugary-artificial-cheaper-than-water beverage.


Things every girl (not just for the single ones) should have: Why MSN is full of crap, and there is more to life than the next boy...

Firstly I must cite a couple of sources:
1. MSN's Article which spawned this topic
2. This entry on Pink Haired Girl

Now I shall compile my own (moderately pirated) version of this list:

1. Porn: trust me on this one girls!
2. Steel-toed boots: bonus points for any color besides black and brown
3. Books: on many topics, also other reading material such as periodicals
4. A vibrator.
5. Friends that you like for reasons other than their sex and gender.
6. A box of condoms.
7. A voter’s registration card
8. A reliable car. Nobody with a good car needs to be justified. (Even better, reliable public transportation)
9. A list of goals. Not necessarily corporate goals or plans to rule the earth. Just stuff you want to accomplish for yourself
10. a toolkit (bonus here for color that is feminine)
11. comfortable underwear: because a guy who is not turned on by white cotton underware doesn't watch enough porn and therefore is unlikely to be good in bed.
12. enough sense of self so that she can make her home comfortable for herself…and not design it around the presumed proclivities of potential mates
13. A two-headed dildo or a good strap-on: a sure-fire test of his flexibility and openness.
14. Lots of fresh produce. Extra points for mangoes.
15. A do-it-yourself mentality.
16. Compact mirror and floss(picks) for picking crap out of your teeth: no matter how much self confidence you have, you still look like a newb if you have spinach in your teeth.
17.Fun pajamas.
18. A matching bra & panty set that makes you feel sexy: because you should be sexy for YOU not him. ON YOUR TERMS.
19. A white down comforter (for comforting)
20. A thick journal and fountain pen on the night table: even a scrap of paper and pencil will do.
21. A close friend who would help you move and bury bodies if needed.
22. A membership to AAA. The membership to AA is optional.
23. A passport
24. Knows how to play pool, poker and blackjack: bonus points if you're good!
25. An emergency pint of Ben and Jerry's to get you through tough times: or a number for B&J delivery!
26. Mace, pepper spray, AND a rape whistle (and I'm talking for loveplay, not for protection)
27. A really good set of sheets. (For you, not "him."): to put under the down comforter.
28.Your own set of balls, so you don't need to wait around for someone to hold your hand when there's something new that you're dying to try, like finally get that tattoo, jump out of a plane, scuba dive, kiss a girl...etc.
29. good quality kitchen ware: cooking skills are even better!
30. A couple of sexy and reliable pair of jeans
31. A belief: any belief really will do.
32. A sense of direction or constant acccess to a map: getting lost is lame.
33. google reader: wean yourself from your addiction to TV news. Read Feeds.
34. The ablitly to change a tire.
35. GOOD CREDIT: if this is news to you....um...well.... good luck living.
36. Money in Savings: For rainy (or sunny) days.
37. A Mag light: for selfdefence and emergencys two is better. one at home and one in the car.

That's enough for now. What do you think. Did I miss a few. Leave me your answers!


Enough Drama Child.

Dear Reader

So after that last depressing post, I reread my posts, all 2-dozen or so of them. They're not too bad actually. Then I reread the post I just wrote....Can you say Drama Queen? I mean, where do I get off being so self-loathing and cynical. That's not something I do!!! So for those of you who read it. I'm sorry. Please go back a few posts to read something funny I wrote. Thanks.


Last Published....

The dreaded and terrifyingly disabling phrase that lingers on top of my dashboard...Last Published....A LONG ASS TIME AGO....which translates to; "How come you keep blogging about how you're going to blog more and NEVER do it!?! " which makes me wonder what I am even doing back here in the first place.

I have no illusions of grandeur that make me think my words are somehow more powerful or more delightful than those of all of the millions (dare I say billions) of blogs out there. It is unlikely that my blog will spark a following of millions or even hundreds of readers. There is not going to be a book inspired by my blog. Publishers won't be banging down my door to write one. These facts are very good at contributing to my posting delinquency.

My blogging habit is non-existant, my view is hazy, my topic is unclear. What exactly am I doing with my minute piece of cyberspace?


That's right, nothing. Why? Because the over-arching theme of my life is that I failed miserably at it. I never finished it and I have no follow-through.

Perhaps I shall blog every now and again, about, things, and learn where this blog wants to go....but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.